Christmas Without Candy

For the last six years I have made multiple batches of cinnamon candy for Christmas. For the last four years I have sent out Christmas cards. This year there are no cards. And, although back in October I bought ingredients to make 7 batches of candy, I will only be making one or two (because I promised an elderly lady at church). So, if you're used to getting these things from me, please don't think I just forgot you. Not doing these things was a choice to reduce the stress in my life. The last two months have been tough professionally, personally, emotionally, and physically. Normally, I would react to these kinds of stressors and disappointments by staying busy, adding more responsibilities, and setting new goals. But, I decided to act counterintuitively and remove as much busyness as possible so that I can experience all of the lessons this time will bring. And it's been difficult to stick with my decision. 

I've always loved the Christmas season and enjoy doing the typical "Christmasy" kinds of stuff. I think those things have their place for fun and to spread joy and connectedness. So, on one hand I feel as though I've somehow missed the entire month of December. I actually just changed my office calendar from November today. Oops. But, I feel like this has been a good exercise in simplicity. My prayer is to become more aware of the silence. The small miracles. The basics. After all, isn't that how Christmas started? In the dark. In the silence. In the simplicity of a manger. No Christmas tree. No decorations. No candy, greeting cards, or parties. Just Life. And the promise of a lifetime of fresh starts. 

So...Happy Birthday, Savior. And a Fresh Start to all of you. 

You Make a Difference!

Okay, friends! The time has come to start casting your DAILY votes.

If you don't know what I'm referring to, I have entered the maurices Main Street Model search. Mainly because the 12 finalists each receive $7500 for a local charity of her choice. I chose my church, House of Praise (HOP). The money would be used to further the community outreach abilities of HOP. You can read more about it here "Will YOU Make This Happen?"

So, to vote...DAILY...(hint, hint) you basically just have to be 18 years old, have a valid e-mail address, and not an employee of maurices. For more on how to vote, and for the official rules, see here...

OR...just skip on over to my official entry page and VOTE HERE!

Just, remember none of this can happen without your vote! You can vote DAILY. And, you can share it with your friends and family...DAILY. ;-)

Love you guys. Thanks for making a difference!

Will YOU Make This Happen?

Okay, so here's the new adventure I mentioned yesterday. I am trying my hand at modeling. Yeah. Modeling. Unbelievable? Probably. But, it's happening. Hence all the pics on Facebook you've recently been seeing. My awesome friend Emily has been helping me out.

Here's the scoop. It's an opportunity provided by the clothing store, Maurices. They're searching for "real girls, in all sizes". The 12 finalists receive a destination photo shoot, exposure on various media forms throughout the year, a $1500 gift card, and $7500 donated to a local nonprofit community organization of the winner's choice. That's what's so cool about this contest. I'm entering for not only a new adventure for myself, but also for the chance to win money for my church, House of Praise. The money would be used to further the community outreach abilities of the church. 

There's essentially four phases to this contest. And, that's where YOU come in. The first phase runs from FEBRUARY 27 -- MARCH 19. During this time, the top 100 contestants are chosen by the public. Yep, that's YOU! 

Each person is allowed one vote DAILY per email address. 

Don't worry. I will be sure to remind you DAILY on Facebook to log your vote. I might get annoying in those three weeks. But, that's my goal. :-) I know I have enough friends, who have friends, to make this happen! Feel free to share this blog with as many people as you can!

LET'S DO IT!  Help me embark on this new adventure. Help me earn money for my community.

If you'd like to read more about the contest here's the link

http://www.mauricesmainstreetmodel.com/about.php

Otherwise, I will post another blog with the voting instructions on Feb 27th...and everyday after that until March 19th. ;-)

Thanks, friends! 

Love, Kelly

Wait! I'm HOW old?!?

I know it's been a while. I think I was too focused on how much I did NOT want to turn 30, to compose a decent blog. Silly. I know. Nevertheless, it came and went.

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about my blog and wanting to get back to it. But, before I do, I wanted to document the big 3-0. Because, it turned out to be not so bad. ;-)

The actual day passed very uneventfully. Just a regular day at work. I went to bed that night even more depressed than when it started.

But, that weekend, my sister threw me a fabulous "Breakfast at Tiffany's" themed party. It was really lovely. I was so thankful for every friend and family member who took the time to come.

Earlier in the day, prior to my party, I conquered a fear and accomplished a big goal. I ran my first 5k race. I know it might not sound like much to those of you who are regular runners. But, for this girl, with my history of health and leg problems, I was pretty dang proud. After all, I had just turned 30 two days before. ;-) My cousin and his girlfriend came and ran the 10k and my sister-in-law ran the 5k with me. My goal was to finish in under 40 min without stopping to walk. I finished in 34:43! 

To finish off the "I don't wanna turn 30" festivities, I took my first adult vacation...to MEXICO! My best friend from college and my best cousin took a three day trip with me to an all inclusive resort in Cozumel. 

I can't even begin to tell you how much fun we had. Actually, the three of us made a pact that we wouldn't tell anyone how much fun we had. ;-) But, I can tell you that our activities included sun bathing, fraternizing with other guests, snorkeling, dancing, and lots of fun with the resort staff...especially these guys, Tony and Mario. 

And, you know what I've decided? 30's not so bad. 

Homesick, Bumps in the Night, and Clean Sheets

I am 29 and 348 days old.
I have a dog named Boo and I hate cats.
I wish I was a legit writer. Instead, this is what you get.
My bedroom is usually messy. I don't like putting away my clothes. But, I make up for it with my need to wipe down my kitchen daily and straighten any crooked picture I see--even if it's on someone else's wall.
Lillies are my favorite flower. She's also my grandma. And my third niece.
I like coffee. A lot.
I was the first person in my family to graduate from college. I just paid off my first "new" car. I have a very successful career, and am a homeowner.
But, none of that matters to the things that go "bump" in the night. They still scare me. And I let them.
I've been told I'm too picky in relationships. I guess picky and insecure can look the same on the outside.
I've been told a decision will grow white hair before it's been solidly made by me. But, once my mind is set...it overstays it's welcome.
I've also been told good-bye one too many times. So, I tried giving good byes. It doesn't help.
I love giving hugs. But, I'm not great at receiving them.  It must be the wall built by "I am capable on my own and don't need you" that makes it tough for someone's arms to wrap around.
One of life's biggest little pleasures for me is sleeping late on a rainy day. There's something comforting about it. Add clean sheets to that scenario and I would be in heaven.
My favorite day of the year is the day after Thanksgiving. Only because I can't choose between the two holidays. I love decorating my house for fall almost as much as I love decorating for Christmas. Maybe someday I'll get to decorate and make cinnamon candy for my own family.
Maybe...
I don't really know where "home" is. Homesickness is a constant. I realize that keeps me from ever feeling settled.
There's a lot of things at which I'm kind of good. Nothing at which I'm great. I have a hard time staying focused on one endeavor.
Ask me tomorrow what my hobby is. I guarantee it'll be something different than today.
I love intensely. Hurt deeply. Live passionately. Fear much. Overcome more.

We All Wanna Be Loved

Lately I’ve been overwhelmed with how broken we are. So much hurt and heartache. I wish I could understand why it seems to fall into place for some people while others wait a lifetime and never seem to experience lasting love. And I’m learning that the more a person is hurt, the more they will hurt others—which just perpetuates the cycle.

Even if a person understands that true joy and fulfillment only comes through God, and that nothing can compare to His love for us (Romans 8:30-39), there is still a natural longing for a partner. In Genesis 2, the whole reason God created woman was because man needed a companion. I’m convinced that everyone feels that desire. No matter how much a single person tries to appear tough, in control, and all-together, they still go home alone. Everyday. And, we were not made to be alone.

I know that God’s ways are higher than ours. I know that all good things come to those who wait. I know that patience is a virtue. But, all that knowing doesn’t take the pain away from a friend who is making the tough decision to leave an emotionally draining relationship. I doubt she wants to hear about the “other fish in the sea”. Who wants to be the one to tell this guy I know that, “as soon as he stops trying so hard” he’ll find the right one…after two divorces? And, I really don’t know that statements like, “trust that God knows what He’s doing” will make it any easier for my new friend to ever trust another woman after his wife just decided one day she was done being married. Oh, and just forget about ever getting through to that girl who swears she’s happy being single…until she has one too many drinks and then will hook up with any guy who pays attention to her. And, Heaven forbid anyone ever try to love these people again. Because, what makes them think the new person will be any different than the last? So, they get too clingy to the wrong person or run away from the right person. Walls. Baggage. Bad date after bad date. Another lonely night. One toxic, abusive relationship after another. Failed marriages. Broken hearts.

I know this is a real downer of a blog. But, it’s something I have truly been living recently. I do know that broken hearts can eventually be mended through the grace of God. I just wish there were guarantees that the continual sting of loss, hurt, and rejection would someday payoff.

Sound Off (Warning: Adults Only)

Recently I’ve been thinking. I know that can get me in trouble. But, I think this time it might help keep me out of trouble. Hopefully, it’ll encourage others to stay out of trouble as well. Somehow I’ve been finding myself in random conversations on this topic and I have been surprised to learn that I seem to have a very different (maybe idealistic) perspective.

But, the final blog is going to take some time to write. I’m actually doing a lot of reading on the topic…both Biblical and scientific/psychological perspectives. In the meantime I’d like to hear your thoughts, opinions, experiences, etc. Don’t be shy. Everyone has an opinion. Now’s the time to share it.

I’m talking about sex. More specifically, “cheap sex”. What constitutes a relationship? And how is that different from “just someone I had sex with”? Do you feel that there needs to be an emotional connection in order for it to be enjoyable and/or fulfilling? What are your thoughts about the differences between guys and girls in this arena? Do you think there really is such a thing as casual or cheap sex? Or is there an inevitable emotional and/or spiritual connection that takes place regardless of the intention of the participants? Regardless of your past experiences, what would be one’s motivations for abstaining from sex until a long-term committed relationship (marriage)…if any?  

Okay, lots of questions. Time for lots of comments. Ready? GO!