It Could Have Been My Last

In talking this Friday with a coworker about my trip to Joplin last week to volunteer after the tornado disaster, I realized that I was scheduled to be driving through Joplin at the time the tornado hit. I was in Jefferson City that weekend helping my friend plan her wedding. I had planned to stay in JC through Sunday morning, and return that afternoon—placing me in Joplin around 5:00. I was busy all weekend, so I know I wouldn’t have checked the weather before leaving. And, I have driven through severe storms many times. I know myself well enough that I would not have stopped.

It wasn’t until late Thursday night before leaving for Jefferson City on Friday that I decided to come home late Saturday night to be at church for a friend’s mission presentation Sunday morning. I struggled with that decision. I was a little annoyed that so many other church staff was planning on being gone. I remember thinking on the drive to JC, “I just want to be selfish for once and stay gone all weekend. There are friends I want to see up here. I’m tired of rushing around trying to please everyone.” I’m now heavily sighing under the gravity of humility. If I had made that selfish decision, it very possibly could have been my last. And, on the trip back to AR, I was so distracted with my personal woes, that I missed the exit that I’ve taken hundreds of times, ending up on an OK turnpike, wasting an extra hour of pointless drive time. I was so frustrated with myself that I stopped at the Flying J in Joplin to rest for a while before finishing the late night drive home. Less than 10 hours later, that gas station was destroyed. This might sound dramatic and filled with a lot of “what if’s”. But, I don’t believe in “what if’s”. I don’t believe in chance. I believe that “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand.” (Psalms 37:23-24 NIV)

After hearing of the disaster on Sunday, I was filled with grief and concern for my friends and all of the victims. I was immediately convicted of all of the pity I had been giving myself the past few weeks due to a disappointing personal situation. I was reminded that although I might not have everything I want, I have more than I need. And, I was compelled to organize a funds drive and volunteer with the relief efforts in Joplin later that week.

But, it wasn’t until this Friday, almost two weeks later, that the true reality and deepness of God’s love for me was revealed. I wonder how often He allows one heartache in our lives just to spare us from an even bigger hurt. How often do we miss His hand moving us in one direction or another? Or worse yet, how often do we curse the annoyances, distractions, disappointments and changes of plans without even considering that the temporary trials are often necessary for the eternal blessing? I forget too easily that God has promised, “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.” (Jer.29:11 MSG)

Lord, help me to always be aware of you and your Hand as you guide me step by step. Remind me to always look back to give thanks for what You have done for me. I entrust my past, present and future to You.

Take a moment to reflect on your path. Where can you look back and see God changed things for the better?