I closed part 1 with a list of questions that accompany the intense personality clash in which I find myself. There are several very solid characteristic strengths associated with the negotiating and exploring personalities. But, when those questions are played repeatedly, they very easily lead to insecurity. Weakness.
This assessment (as referenced in part 1) identified the three biggest weaknesses as:
1. Indecisiveness due to my ability to see many angles.
2. The need to please can make me placating and my trusting nature can make me gullible (which can lead to codependency).
3. When I feel betrayed, I can be unforgiving and hold a grudge for too long.
And, boy, are they right. Since being challenged to improve my critical thinking in college, I have been able to make more decisive and emotionally detached choices in recent years. Yet, still so often I find myself in an internal argument about what to do or how to think about a situation. I hate to admit it, but sometimes I know I rely too heavily on those primary relationships (who are decisive, tough-minded, and direct) to make decisions for me. Besides, I find my fulfillment in making others happy. As long as they’re happy, I’m happy. So I find a need. And I try. And I try. And I try to fix it. Sometimes I’m able to help. And it’s wonderful. Sometimes I can’t. Sometimes, there are things/people that just can’t be fixed with human effort. Sometimes they say no. Reference #3 above.
It’s in those times when I realize all of my passion; all of my intuitive, compassionate, empathetic, imaginative altruism is just not enough. Sometimes, things just need time. Maybe some things, no matter how idealistic they may seem, just aren’t meant to be. I often forget that my ability to be introspective and problem solve by looking at the big picture, coupled with ability to be flexible so that all parties “win” and my impulsiveness to see a quick change, motivate me to desire and search for a quick resolution. An intensive week of this passionate desire for improvement can bring results that could otherwise take months. This could be a huge strength—and an even bigger weakness. It triggers impatience, frustration, heartache, and feelings of failure and helplessness.
Words can’t adequately describe the angst I experience when I can see the resolution. I know how to get there. But, I just can’t. If I see someone hurting, because of my empathy, I hurt too. I can be with them for a short time. But, eventually (usually more quickly than they are ready) I’ve processed it. I’m ready to move on. I’m ready to make it better. But what if I can’t? I have yet to learn how to completely take my hands off of a situation and allow whatever needs to happen. I struggle with the wait. Maybe it’s that there are things out of my control working against me and there’s nothing I can do. Maybe it’s just not time. I’ve found when I’m faced with these kinds of situations, the harder I try to make things better, the worse they get. Why? Because, I’m not enough. It’s so easy to feel depressed about that. It’s natural to feel like a failure. The reality is I DO fail. But, that doesn’t make me a failure. It makes me human.
I’m not enough to make someone happy. I’m not enough to provide for everyone’s needs. I’m not enough to always keep the peace. I’m not enough to change the world. I’m not enough. I’m not enough. I’M NOT ENOUGH!!! I never will be. I wasn’t created to be. And, I’m learning to be okay with that.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
I'm Not Enough -Part 1
I’m not enough. There are a lot of things I am. But, enough is not one of them.
Stick with me here. Remember, this is just part 1.
Every personality test I’ve taken confirms what I already knew about myself. There’s usually a relatively equal distribution among all of the grouped characteristics. Although I consider myself to be highly introspective, self-aware, unique and individualistic, I can also be very adaptive to the situation and the need. I’m a need-meeter. This definitely has pros and cons.
The most recent assessment I’ve taken termed me a “Negotiator” and “Explorer”. The negotiator in me sees the big picture. I’m imaginative, empathetic, trusting, intuitive, introspective, skilled verbally, and passionate. Good thing I went into social work, eh? And because I can see people’s needs and am so compassionate, I tend to be altruistic and idealistic, wanting to save the world—even to the point of self sacrifice. This personality type will seek the spiritual, life-long connections. Interpersonal relationships are built around deep intimacy and loyalty (I’m talking about all relationships. Not just romantic.) So, all of this sounds great, right? How can this ever be a weakness? Just wait. I’ll get there.
The explorer in me seeks novelty. I’m flexible, impulsive, open-minded, curious, energetic, creative, and again…highly passionate. And I want to share these novel, exciting experiences with someone who is equally as enthusiastic and committed. But, since the negotiator is so agreeable, flexible, and affable, the complementing personality would be decisive, tough-minded, focused, and direct, yet calm and supportive of my enthusiastic, caring, and imaginative spirit. Ahem. Maybe you’re starting to see the problem?
This personality combination avoids conflict, seeks “win-win” situations, and will make great efforts to breed intimacy and harmony, especially in the primary relationships. Remember, I’m a need-meeter. I see problems and I want to fix them. But, in the primary relationships, I don’t want emotional dependency. Autonomy is admired. Now, add in the characteristic that remained constant in both personality types and you’ve got a highly passionate people pleaser who needs deep intimate connections with people who support me while I save the world and will go with me on an unplanned trip around the world. Anyone want to fill out an application yet?
Now that I’ve set this all up, I’d like to remind you that we don’t live idealistically. Take a moment to consider some of the many ways life offers disappointments. Think of how difficult relationship building is even without the intense, passionate personality that wants to fix any problem that may arise. People are complex. Life is complicated.
So, what happens when I identify a need but the situation can’t be fixed—as so often happens in this crazy world? What do I do when the need is beyond the means? Who do I turn to when the decisive, tough-minded and focused stabilizers in my life need help? And, how do I make sure I keep my identity and self-worth separated from my ability/inability to save the world? How can I ever be enough?
Stick with me here. Remember, this is just part 1.
Every personality test I’ve taken confirms what I already knew about myself. There’s usually a relatively equal distribution among all of the grouped characteristics. Although I consider myself to be highly introspective, self-aware, unique and individualistic, I can also be very adaptive to the situation and the need. I’m a need-meeter. This definitely has pros and cons.
The most recent assessment I’ve taken termed me a “Negotiator” and “Explorer”. The negotiator in me sees the big picture. I’m imaginative, empathetic, trusting, intuitive, introspective, skilled verbally, and passionate. Good thing I went into social work, eh? And because I can see people’s needs and am so compassionate, I tend to be altruistic and idealistic, wanting to save the world—even to the point of self sacrifice. This personality type will seek the spiritual, life-long connections. Interpersonal relationships are built around deep intimacy and loyalty (I’m talking about all relationships. Not just romantic.) So, all of this sounds great, right? How can this ever be a weakness? Just wait. I’ll get there.
The explorer in me seeks novelty. I’m flexible, impulsive, open-minded, curious, energetic, creative, and again…highly passionate. And I want to share these novel, exciting experiences with someone who is equally as enthusiastic and committed. But, since the negotiator is so agreeable, flexible, and affable, the complementing personality would be decisive, tough-minded, focused, and direct, yet calm and supportive of my enthusiastic, caring, and imaginative spirit. Ahem. Maybe you’re starting to see the problem?
This personality combination avoids conflict, seeks “win-win” situations, and will make great efforts to breed intimacy and harmony, especially in the primary relationships. Remember, I’m a need-meeter. I see problems and I want to fix them. But, in the primary relationships, I don’t want emotional dependency. Autonomy is admired. Now, add in the characteristic that remained constant in both personality types and you’ve got a highly passionate people pleaser who needs deep intimate connections with people who support me while I save the world and will go with me on an unplanned trip around the world. Anyone want to fill out an application yet?
Now that I’ve set this all up, I’d like to remind you that we don’t live idealistically. Take a moment to consider some of the many ways life offers disappointments. Think of how difficult relationship building is even without the intense, passionate personality that wants to fix any problem that may arise. People are complex. Life is complicated.
So, what happens when I identify a need but the situation can’t be fixed—as so often happens in this crazy world? What do I do when the need is beyond the means? Who do I turn to when the decisive, tough-minded and focused stabilizers in my life need help? And, how do I make sure I keep my identity and self-worth separated from my ability/inability to save the world? How can I ever be enough?
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Compassionate Treatment
(Originally posted on my old blog 12/4/08)
mer·cy :
Compassionate treatment, especially of those under one's power; clemency.
A disposition to be kind and forgiving: a heart full of mercy.
Something for which to be thankful; a blessing: It was a mercy that no one was hurt.
Alleviation of distress; relief: Taking in the refugees was an act of mercy.
Have you ever found yourself stuck? Stuck in a life phase. Stuck in transition. Stuck in a time rut. "Lost in Translation".
I have several Latina kids on my caseload and when I do family therapy with them I have to use an interpretor. I never really know if they get the full gist of what I'm saying because the interpretor has to listen to me talk for several minutes to get the full thought before he can get an understanding of my point and then translate that thought into Spanish. Sometimes what may take me an entire paragraph to convey, he may be able to say in one sentence. There have been times when I stopped to think to myself, "Really? Did you really say all that I just said in those few little words? Surely, you couldn't have said it as eloquently and as profoundly as I did." Okay, I'm sure I didn't say it very eloquently either. lol. But, the point is there is uncertainty. I have to have faith in my interpretor and trust that my advice and instruction is being conveyed properly and in the manner I originally intended. I've worked with an interpretor before who just said whatever she wanted. She was giving her own advice instead of what I really said. I remember just sitting there not knowing what in the world she was telling them and wondering at what point I lost my authority and ceased to be the "expert".
Do you think God ever feels like I did in that session? We take one scripture, one direction, one revelation and suddenly think we are now an expert on our own life. We no longer listen to His authority, to His instruction. If we only listened and obeyed, it just might work. Then again, there are probably also some times when we just have to have faith in our interpretor (the Holy Spirit) and trust that we're getting the right information. Still, I know there are times when I've read a Word or gotten some instruction and it just doesn't make sense. I'm lost in the translation. And, so I feel like I'm sitting in the same place for months waiting for the next instruction or for further interpretation. I feel lost. Or maybe you've found yourself taking a step in the direction that made sense initially only to get there and feel like it's all wrong. It's so easy to wonder, "did I misunderstand?" And, suddenly so many other doubts come along with that one question of doubt. "Why is this happening to me? I just wanted to do what I thought was right. Why isn't it working out? Shouldn't I feel more successful and fruitful if this is really His will? Maybe there's something wrong with me. What am I doing wrong? What did I miss?" And, before you know it, it's months down the road and you're in the exact same place you were when you started. It's that dang merry-go-round. That rut. That time warp. You feel stuck. Pretty soon you've forgotten why you even started. What were you seeking in the first place? You're thinking that maybe you should give up and start all over again. But, if the problem isn't identified and rectified, then the pattern will continue to be repeated no matter where you go or how many times you start over.
So, what's the answer to the problem? What will make the spinning stop? That's where God's amazing mercy comes in. In Lamentations chapter 3, for 20 verses Jeremiah laments, cries, hurts, vents about his current pain and affliction. Verse 21 starts out with "But". I love it when a scripture starts out with "But". In the English language and sentence structure, but serves to discount everything that was said prior to that little three letter word. The remainder of the chapter (vs 21-32) is an honest acceptance of God's mercy. Take a look at vs 22-23:
22It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not.
23They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
Even if we might feel like we have the same problem and prayer request for days and months on end, we don't need to worry or feel lost or stuck because His mercy is NEW everyday. It's like waking up to a new car in my garage everyday. I can drive it without worry of running out of gas, or of scheduled service, or of breaking down. Even if I have an accident and total the car, it's okay because I get a brand new one in the morning!!! I don't have to be overhwelmed. Did you see that? Because of His mercy I'm not consumed!!! Even when I feel unloved, or dare I say, unloveable...I don't have to worry because His kindness to me comes from His great love for me. When nothing else in my life is stable. When no one in my life is faithful to me. He is. He is stable. He is faithful. I'm not. I don't deserve it. I'm so selfish, self-seeking, and focused on my own trials and suffering, that I forget to thank God for His new mercy EVERYDAY!!!
I love the final definition given above. It says, "alleviation of distress...relief". WOW! I've needed relief for weeks. And, I haven't gotten it because I haven't let Him show His mercy to me. I haven't accepted it. Honestly, I haven't even seen it because all I've seen is that rut (physical problems, emotional pain, confusion, job stress, physical problems, emotional pain, confusion, job stress...)
God, forgive me for not pursuing you--for not asking for help and then accepting it. For not being thankful for the mery and relief that you offer everyday!!! I'm asking for it now. I'm becoming aware of your blessing and your relief.
mer·cy :
Compassionate treatment, especially of those under one's power; clemency.
A disposition to be kind and forgiving: a heart full of mercy.
Something for which to be thankful; a blessing: It was a mercy that no one was hurt.
Alleviation of distress; relief: Taking in the refugees was an act of mercy.
Have you ever found yourself stuck? Stuck in a life phase. Stuck in transition. Stuck in a time rut. "Lost in Translation".
I have several Latina kids on my caseload and when I do family therapy with them I have to use an interpretor. I never really know if they get the full gist of what I'm saying because the interpretor has to listen to me talk for several minutes to get the full thought before he can get an understanding of my point and then translate that thought into Spanish. Sometimes what may take me an entire paragraph to convey, he may be able to say in one sentence. There have been times when I stopped to think to myself, "Really? Did you really say all that I just said in those few little words? Surely, you couldn't have said it as eloquently and as profoundly as I did." Okay, I'm sure I didn't say it very eloquently either. lol. But, the point is there is uncertainty. I have to have faith in my interpretor and trust that my advice and instruction is being conveyed properly and in the manner I originally intended. I've worked with an interpretor before who just said whatever she wanted. She was giving her own advice instead of what I really said. I remember just sitting there not knowing what in the world she was telling them and wondering at what point I lost my authority and ceased to be the "expert".
Do you think God ever feels like I did in that session? We take one scripture, one direction, one revelation and suddenly think we are now an expert on our own life. We no longer listen to His authority, to His instruction. If we only listened and obeyed, it just might work. Then again, there are probably also some times when we just have to have faith in our interpretor (the Holy Spirit) and trust that we're getting the right information. Still, I know there are times when I've read a Word or gotten some instruction and it just doesn't make sense. I'm lost in the translation. And, so I feel like I'm sitting in the same place for months waiting for the next instruction or for further interpretation. I feel lost. Or maybe you've found yourself taking a step in the direction that made sense initially only to get there and feel like it's all wrong. It's so easy to wonder, "did I misunderstand?" And, suddenly so many other doubts come along with that one question of doubt. "Why is this happening to me? I just wanted to do what I thought was right. Why isn't it working out? Shouldn't I feel more successful and fruitful if this is really His will? Maybe there's something wrong with me. What am I doing wrong? What did I miss?" And, before you know it, it's months down the road and you're in the exact same place you were when you started. It's that dang merry-go-round. That rut. That time warp. You feel stuck. Pretty soon you've forgotten why you even started. What were you seeking in the first place? You're thinking that maybe you should give up and start all over again. But, if the problem isn't identified and rectified, then the pattern will continue to be repeated no matter where you go or how many times you start over.
So, what's the answer to the problem? What will make the spinning stop? That's where God's amazing mercy comes in. In Lamentations chapter 3, for 20 verses Jeremiah laments, cries, hurts, vents about his current pain and affliction. Verse 21 starts out with "But". I love it when a scripture starts out with "But". In the English language and sentence structure, but serves to discount everything that was said prior to that little three letter word. The remainder of the chapter (vs 21-32) is an honest acceptance of God's mercy. Take a look at vs 22-23:
22It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His [tender] compassions fail not.
23They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
Even if we might feel like we have the same problem and prayer request for days and months on end, we don't need to worry or feel lost or stuck because His mercy is NEW everyday. It's like waking up to a new car in my garage everyday. I can drive it without worry of running out of gas, or of scheduled service, or of breaking down. Even if I have an accident and total the car, it's okay because I get a brand new one in the morning!!! I don't have to be overhwelmed. Did you see that? Because of His mercy I'm not consumed!!! Even when I feel unloved, or dare I say, unloveable...I don't have to worry because His kindness to me comes from His great love for me. When nothing else in my life is stable. When no one in my life is faithful to me. He is. He is stable. He is faithful. I'm not. I don't deserve it. I'm so selfish, self-seeking, and focused on my own trials and suffering, that I forget to thank God for His new mercy EVERYDAY!!!
I love the final definition given above. It says, "alleviation of distress...relief". WOW! I've needed relief for weeks. And, I haven't gotten it because I haven't let Him show His mercy to me. I haven't accepted it. Honestly, I haven't even seen it because all I've seen is that rut (physical problems, emotional pain, confusion, job stress, physical problems, emotional pain, confusion, job stress...)
God, forgive me for not pursuing you--for not asking for help and then accepting it. For not being thankful for the mery and relief that you offer everyday!!! I'm asking for it now. I'm becoming aware of your blessing and your relief.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Me Either
Have you ever had a thought process that goes like this?
I know that God has a plan for me. I know He wants good things for me. He is sufficient for me. But, I want more. He will give me the desires of my heart. But, I had the desires of my heart and now it’s gone. It’s okay because He is enough. But, why would He give me that promise and then not fulfill it? I have tried to do my best in life. I have tried to always follow Him and trust Him. So, why did that happen? And, why am I not fulfilled? The joy of the Lord is my strength. And I’m trying to have faith and trust Him. So, why am I not joyful? Can anything really fulfill this desire if I’m not completely fulfilled in Him alone? But, what about other people who do their own thing all the time? Why are they fulfilled? Why do they have what I want? I know that sounds like covetousness, which I’m not supposed to have. Yet, honestly…it’s there. I want to trust. But, when I feel this let down and disappointed…how do I do that?
I didn’t think so. Me either.
I know that God has a plan for me. I know He wants good things for me. He is sufficient for me. But, I want more. He will give me the desires of my heart. But, I had the desires of my heart and now it’s gone. It’s okay because He is enough. But, why would He give me that promise and then not fulfill it? I have tried to do my best in life. I have tried to always follow Him and trust Him. So, why did that happen? And, why am I not fulfilled? The joy of the Lord is my strength. And I’m trying to have faith and trust Him. So, why am I not joyful? Can anything really fulfill this desire if I’m not completely fulfilled in Him alone? But, what about other people who do their own thing all the time? Why are they fulfilled? Why do they have what I want? I know that sounds like covetousness, which I’m not supposed to have. Yet, honestly…it’s there. I want to trust. But, when I feel this let down and disappointed…how do I do that?
I didn’t think so. Me either.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Don't Hold Your Breath
"Don't hold your breath." It's a phrase meaning don't wait on something to happen because it likely will not. So, holding your breath waiting for that thing to transpire would be impossible. Or fatal. I've also heard that phrase in the fitness world. Trainers emphasize the importance of proper breathing while working out. Many people, especially those who are not accustomed to strenuous work outs will tend to hold their breath. Other reasons why a person might hold their breath: to go underwater, in anticipation, excitement, to get rid of hiccups, or to wait for a bad smell to pass. haha...yeah... And, sometimes...we get the breath knocked out of us. Something hits you in the gut. You lose your balance and hit the ground. And, the wind is gone. I wonder if anyone has ever held their breath in anticipation of losing it? Like taking one last deep breath before going under water. Or, like I found myself doing last Christmas as I climbed the ladder to string the lights from the tallest pitch of my roof.
Lately, I've been catching myself holding my breath. Literally. I have to make a conscious decision to let the air go. The first time I realized I was doing it, I blew the air out and actually said to myself, "don't hold your breath." That statement struck me. Why was I holding my breath? And over the past two weeks, I've actually had to remind myself to breathe. How ridiculous! Who has to be reminded to breathe? And, the more that I make myself let the big breaths out, the more I feel like I'm giving up on something. But, breathing is a function of life. To breathe in and out every moment, every experience, every joy, and every pain is a gift, isn't it? So, to NOT breathe deeply with every moment would be giving up on something. Life.
Job 34:14-15 If he decided to hold his breath, every man, woman, and child would die for lack of air. God is working behind the scenes.
Job 37:10-13 It's God's breath that forms the ice. It's God's breath that turns lakes and rivers solid. And yes, it's God who fills clouds with rainwater and hurls lightning from them every which way. He puts them through their paces-first this way, then that-commands them to do what He says all over the world. Whether for discipline or grace or extravagant love, He makes sure they make their mark. A terrible beauty streams from God.
Gen. 2:7 God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive--a living soul!
So...when I breathe...I'm not just breathing in oxygen and out carbon dioxide. I'm breathing in and out...God! Yes, sometimes circumstances might knock the wind out for discipline, grace, or extravagant love (Job 37:13). But, if you've ever experienced having the air knocked out of you, you know what it's like to get that first deep breath back.
So, when I'm fearful of what might come and I find myself holding my breath, I'll hold fast to my faith and breathe out fear and breathe in God. When life happens and I'm gasping for air, I'll breathe in God. Instead of holding my breath in anticipation of what I want, I'll breathe in God knowing that all that comes with it will bring life.
Lately, I've been catching myself holding my breath. Literally. I have to make a conscious decision to let the air go. The first time I realized I was doing it, I blew the air out and actually said to myself, "don't hold your breath." That statement struck me. Why was I holding my breath? And over the past two weeks, I've actually had to remind myself to breathe. How ridiculous! Who has to be reminded to breathe? And, the more that I make myself let the big breaths out, the more I feel like I'm giving up on something. But, breathing is a function of life. To breathe in and out every moment, every experience, every joy, and every pain is a gift, isn't it? So, to NOT breathe deeply with every moment would be giving up on something. Life.
Job 34:14-15 If he decided to hold his breath, every man, woman, and child would die for lack of air. God is working behind the scenes.
Job 37:10-13 It's God's breath that forms the ice. It's God's breath that turns lakes and rivers solid. And yes, it's God who fills clouds with rainwater and hurls lightning from them every which way. He puts them through their paces-first this way, then that-commands them to do what He says all over the world. Whether for discipline or grace or extravagant love, He makes sure they make their mark. A terrible beauty streams from God.
Gen. 2:7 God formed Man out of dirt from the ground and blew into his nostrils the breath of life. The Man came alive--a living soul!
So...when I breathe...I'm not just breathing in oxygen and out carbon dioxide. I'm breathing in and out...God! Yes, sometimes circumstances might knock the wind out for discipline, grace, or extravagant love (Job 37:13). But, if you've ever experienced having the air knocked out of you, you know what it's like to get that first deep breath back.
So, when I'm fearful of what might come and I find myself holding my breath, I'll hold fast to my faith and breathe out fear and breathe in God. When life happens and I'm gasping for air, I'll breathe in God. Instead of holding my breath in anticipation of what I want, I'll breathe in God knowing that all that comes with it will bring life.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Even if Just Tomorrow
I’ve been in social work for a total of nine years, including educational internships. I’ve been at this job, working as a “Mental Health Professional” doing therapy with elementary aged children for almost three years. It’s a tough career. Some days are better than others. There’s very little praise. Plenty of stress to go around. And, I’ll be the first to admit I’ve had my fair share of apathy. I’m sure this makes me a bad therapist but, sometimes when my life is really hectic, I dread going to work. I don’t want to hear about other people’s problems when I can’t even deal with my own. There. I said it.
After the stress and emotional roller coaster of the last few weeks, I was more apathetic than ever—a great way to ensure early burn out. So for that reason, along with many others, I committed to doing away with social networking (i.e. Facebook, Twitter) and increasing my devotional and personal care time this week.
Today, I have been hit with the gravity of my job. It’s not just a job, but an assignment. I’ve been blessed to be in the lives of these kids. Even if I don’t see much “therapeutic progress”, I know that I will remember many of them forever, as they will me. And even if not, then hopefully they’ll at least remember an encouraging word…even if just for tomorrow…then, I’ve made a difference in their tomorrow.
After the stress and emotional roller coaster of the last few weeks, I was more apathetic than ever—a great way to ensure early burn out. So for that reason, along with many others, I committed to doing away with social networking (i.e. Facebook, Twitter) and increasing my devotional and personal care time this week.
Today, I have been hit with the gravity of my job. It’s not just a job, but an assignment. I’ve been blessed to be in the lives of these kids. Even if I don’t see much “therapeutic progress”, I know that I will remember many of them forever, as they will me. And even if not, then hopefully they’ll at least remember an encouraging word…even if just for tomorrow…then, I’ve made a difference in their tomorrow.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Don't Fake It
A couple weeks ago, I retweeted something from Carlos Whitaker (@loswhit). He said, "praying for all the pastors and worship leaders who feel like they have to fake it tomorrow #gal2:20". I retweeted for the simple fact that I've been there...a lot. So many times I've had to "fake the praise". This could be due to a variety of reasons: tired, sick, bad attitude, practice went bad, etc.
However, I just now took the time to look up that passage that he hash-tagged.
Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
It took me a while to process how this was related to faking it. Yeah, I know...it's not tough. If I've truly crucified my flesh, then it's not ME up there leading worship...it's Christ. It has very little to do with my abilities. Without Him I would not be able at all.
I think this generalizes to all Christ-followers' daily lives as well. How many times do we have to fake being nice, fake joyfulness, fake loving the sinner? Yeah, I went there. Why are we so quick to forget what Christ did for us? He loves me. He gave himself for me. He lives in me. I should let Him live THROUGH me.
So, the next time I "don't feel like it", I will remind myself that I no longer live. All I have to do is surrender, and let Christ do the work. Amen.
In what ways do you find yourself faking it in your walk with Christ? What have you found to help yourself surrender to the work of Christ?
However, I just now took the time to look up that passage that he hash-tagged.
Galatians 2:20 - I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
It took me a while to process how this was related to faking it. Yeah, I know...it's not tough. If I've truly crucified my flesh, then it's not ME up there leading worship...it's Christ. It has very little to do with my abilities. Without Him I would not be able at all.
I think this generalizes to all Christ-followers' daily lives as well. How many times do we have to fake being nice, fake joyfulness, fake loving the sinner? Yeah, I went there. Why are we so quick to forget what Christ did for us? He loves me. He gave himself for me. He lives in me. I should let Him live THROUGH me.
So, the next time I "don't feel like it", I will remind myself that I no longer live. All I have to do is surrender, and let Christ do the work. Amen.
In what ways do you find yourself faking it in your walk with Christ? What have you found to help yourself surrender to the work of Christ?
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